apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
