Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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