Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
