you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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