we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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