I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
