I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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