He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
