NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
