it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
