some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Randomize
