Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
