If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
