how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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