some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
