Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize