im drinking this country out of the recession.
Is it because I queefed?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
