She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
