about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
