Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
