I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
The Olympian is in my bed
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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