I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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