I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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