Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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