just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
