Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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