Screwed.edu
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
