i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
