I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
