so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Randomize
