Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
