I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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