i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
