I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
