I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You were trust falling into bushes
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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