It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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