Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
