i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Holy sore nipples Batman
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
