I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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