So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
