I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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