I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
