I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
