If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
