I'm lost and stupid without you.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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