my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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