I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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