Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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