East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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