***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
