I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
