i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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