today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
