does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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