I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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