apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
