I need help removing her.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
