I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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