I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
This toilet bowl is my home.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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