forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize