Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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