they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
