Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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